Sunday, April 13, 2014

Word of the day: reality

Reality: (n) the world or state of things as they actually exist,
as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.

It's that time of year again when the weather has finally taken its Prozac and stopped being completely unpredictable. It's time for cookouts, and for sitting out on the back patio watching the squirrels torment our dogs, and for our teenagers to have to mow the lawn every week despite their totally predictable and full-of-bad-attitude protests.

Last night we went to a cookout with some friends. I will preface the rest of this story by saying it wasn't my finest parenting moment, but I'm not gonna lie, I laughed about it. A lot.

On the way to our friends' house, D overheard us talking about something we didn't particularly want him to hear, so naturally we tried to use some redirection to take his mind off of our conversation. Knowing full well that he's played on a trampoline before but hoping to distract him by letting him know that these friends had a trampoline, my husband asked, "So buddy, have you ever played on a trampoline before?" And D clapped his hands excitedly and threw his hands in the air and blurted out, "Hell YEAH, are you kidding me?!"

There was a frozen moment in time when all three of our jaws dropped and the husband looked sharply in the rearview mirror at D and D realized what he said, and in a much more subdued voice he offered, "Ummmmm, I mean beep yeah, I've been on a trampoline." S and I looked at each other with wide eyes...and then he cracked a huge smile...and that was it for me. I grabbed the extra jacket I had brought and covered my face so I could laugh hysterically without D seeing me.

Go ahead, judge away. I know this isn't the first time I've posted about him using expletives, and it probably won't be the last, and I'm honest (and medicated) enough to admit it. It's not really funny, and if my other three kids did it I'd probably smack their mouths (if I could reach teenagers are pretty tall, ya know). There's just something about being the baby of the family that allows D to get away with way more than anyone else, but ultimately he is a sweet, well-behaved, loving child, so I guess I'm willing to overlook certain things he does. Particularly if they make me giggle like a stoned hyena.

Happy Spring, everybody. Or should I say, hell YEAH, it's finally Spring!


  1. First thing, I found you!! Yay!
    second thing, too frickin funny!!!!

  2. I had another mother over one day who jut knew us on the surface of facebook and intagram. Right a she was exclaiming how perfect my home was, what wonderful kids I had and making comparisons about her own kids (yikes!) and it was just weird....Sarah chimed in, "Yeah, we don't say sh@# and we don't say fu@# and what's that other word we don't say Mommy?" ......... It was perfect!! The lady saw that we weren't some unattainable family unit and she let her guard down so we could relate. We are now close friends because of the ice that Sarah broke with the words "we don't say" ;)