Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Word of the day: mortify

Mortify: (v) to cause someone to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or humiliated.

I have a lot of things that I want to say that I often cannot actually say out loud. Sometimes it's just not appropriate, or sometimes I know it won't change anything so I don't bother saying it. These little (or big) frustrations often build up inside of me and I have developed a slightly embarrassing and yet incredibly liberating habit of yelling them out loud when I'm alone in my car.

This is something that I have never admitted to anyone, because I've never actually had a reason to tell anyone about it until now. So go ahead and feel special, please.

It's ok. I know you're as weird as I am, in some other way I'm sure, but you're weird, too. Don't even try to pretend you're not. This is just something I do to get things off my chest, often completely unimportant things that have no true implication one way or another. It helps immensely to be able to voice those things out loud (sometimes with a British accent, I might add...that's really fun).

So, I was venting today on my drive home from work. It's been awhile since I had the opportunity so I was running down a laundry list of ridiculous complaints I've stored up. I had a lovely song on the radio and I was really going to town as I pulled up to a traffic light. Today was British Voice day.

As I sat at the light, the air conditioning on my Yukon started to blow tepid smelly air, as it is prone to do when sitting idle. After all, it is a 10 year old vehicle. I rolled down my windows to avoid the disgusting dog-breath-like feeling that happens when the air cuts out like that and had I been thinking straight, I would have suspended my British rant about why my kids argue EVERY SINGLE NIGHT when it comes time to take a shower.

Instead of stopping, I just rolled with it and hollered, "What is so hard about just washing yourself? It happens every single day! It's not new - just wash your ass and be done with it! Don't give me so much grief, for the love of God!" I took a deep breath to start with some new rant and looked to my left and realized OMG THERE WAS SOMEONE IN THE CAR NEXT TO ME VIDEO TAPING ME WITH THEIR CAMERA PHONE! OH NO OH NO OH NO!!!

To be fair, I don't know if he was video taping me or just taking my picture. I don't actually care what he was doing. All I know is, I had made a complete & utter fool of myself, and some random person was gathering video evidence of it. Can you say, mortifying?

Since I got home, I've just been praying that the man who was doing the taping/photographing doesn't actually know anyone that runs in any of my circles, and mainly that I don't somehow end up on the internet (other than here on my blog where I can semi-anonymously tell on myself for being so ridiculous). I have no desire to turn into an internet meme.

Before today, I would have recommended this method of therapy to anyone and everyone. It can be incredibly cathartic. After today, all I can say is, try this at your own risk.


  1. Well, I went on youtube and searched "Wash Your Ass." I didn't find you, but I did find this absolute gem:

    I think you're safe. I mean, who is going to watch YOU on youtube, when someone can watch this treat of a video?!

    1. O.M.G. I obviously have been naive about what people were posting on

  2. I love you so much - it is just, unreal.

  3. Replies
    1. Haha. I don't know about amazing but it was plenty embarrassing, Kimmie.

  4. Hahahhahaha. You are so going to end up on Ellen!!