Thursday, March 8, 2012

Word of the day: arachnophobia

Arachnophobia: (n) an abnormal fear of spiders (p.s. IT'S NOT ABNORMAL)

I stumbled across a horrible story yesterday on Yahoo about spiders that had taken over an entire town in Australia due to blah blah factoid information etc. I don't remember the details and I certainly don't know what possessed me to read the story but I did, and I spent the remainder of the day with my skin crawling and jumping every time one of my own hairs brushed against my neck.

For those of you who are interested, you can read about it here but if you are squeamish about spiders, you might want to skip it. Just a head's up.

Anyways, that story was so disturbing that, naturally, I shared it with several of my friends and the ensuing banter reminded me of a spider story that happened to me awhile back, which I figured I would share here on my blog.

I was picking up one of my boys from football practice. It was dark but still warm outside so I was just in sandals and I had the windows down in my vehicle. I mean, I was wearing clothes too, not just sandals, but the point is that I wasn't wearing shoes that covered my entire foot. As I turned into the school campus, something extremely large skittered across the top of my foot. Being the spider-fearing person that I am, I immediately assumed it was a tarantula and began to panic in a slightly controlled manner (controlled only because I was driving a large SUV). However, as I continued along my way to the parking lot where I was to pick up my son, the stupid creature started crawling all over my foot and ankle and propelled me into pretty much a full blown panic.

I made it past all of the meandering pedestrians to an empty part of the gravel parking lot and totally hung it sideways, threw the door open and leaped out of my vehicle, screeching and jumping around trying to knock the thing off of my foot. After a full minute or so of these antics, I became fairly certain that there wasn't actually anything on my foot, which meant the evil creature was still inside the vehicle with two of my kids.

NOT ON MY WATCH, SPIDER...you are NOT EATING MY CHILDREN.

I cautiously ventured back to the driver's side floorboard where the thing began it's mission to kill me and peered inside. Flipped on the light inside the truck. Scooted the seat back. Didn't see anything. Just as I was about to get my kids out and light the vehicle on fire, a gust of wind blew into the doorway and out from under my seat it flew - ARRRGGHHHH!

Wait...was that a...a...a Snickers wrapper?

Yes. Yes it was. It was a Snickers wrapper blowing around on the floorboard of my vehicle that sent me into a full-blown panic and assisted me in making a complete fool out of myself in the parking lot of my son's football practice. I am so terrified of spiders that I lose my rational thought processes anytime I think I might be coming into contact with one.

Also, chances are that since I live in middle Tennessee, there probably aren't any tarantulas making their way into my vehicles, and I'm going to do my best to keep that in mind should I run into this situation again.

The end.

2 comments:

  1. when i read this i was about to die i was on the the edge of my seat laughing histarically

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are so funny, sweet girl! I'm glad you enjoyed it...especially considering that you were there when it happened. : )

    ReplyDelete

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