Monday, January 23, 2012

Word of the day: lazy

Lazy: (adj.) not inclined to work or exertion; moving in a languid or sluggish manner.

I got home from work today and swore at the dishes in my sink. Like...literally, audibly swore at them.

Stupid dishes. Why do there always have to be so many? Why can't they make paper pots and paper pans in which to cook? (DON'T ANSWER THAT, I can figure out on my own why that would be a bad idea. But you know what I'm saying.)

Anyways. I did the dishes, no biggie, they're just dishes, right? (That is sooooo much easier to say now that I've had some wine.) (Why is my space bar sticking so much?!)

While I was doing the dishes, my sweet youngest boy was all up under my feet wanting me to PAY ATTENTION to him. This poor guy, he's got a nasty cold after having croup and the doctor told us to give him Benadryl to help with the congestion. For some terrible, horrible reason, rather than making him nice and drowsy, Benadryl makes him act like one of those crazy, drugged-out folks you see running from the police on Cops.

So this child was leaping from kitchen chair to kitchen chair, acting a fool, totally stressing out his tired, lazy mama who just wanted to finish the dishes so she could have her dinner. I stamped my foot (always effective...) and counted to 10 and finally just ordered him to go play games on the computer, an edict he happily obeyed (duh). I know, I's a school day, and they're not normally allowed to play any games on school days, but he was home sick today and he was making me insane so I gave in and let him play with the hope that it would keep him occupied for 15 minutes while I finished the dishes.

It kept him occupied, all right. He was peaceful and quiet and no one was stepping on my toes or pestering the dogs or riding the dog food container across the kitchen. When I got done with the dishes I went back into the living room to check on him, and I saw a familiar screen on the computer monitor with my little guy intently typing his first and middle name into the "enter user id" box.

He had somehow made it onto eBay, and was signing in to make an $80 bid on a Godzilla video game. After I snapped a quick picture of his handiwork, I snatched the mouse away to close the screen and he got quite irritated and said pointedly, "What are you doing, woman?? I was gonna BUY DAT!"

He was gonna buy that.

I love him.

He's in bed now, thank God.


  1. This made me laugh aloud...for some reason the "stupid dishes!" line did it for me.