Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Word of the day: intention
I can be somewhat of a klutz...I generally don't mean to fall over the giant nothing on the floor or run into that door jamb that hasn't moved in the six and a half years we've owned this house, but I do. My husband knows this about me, and accepts it with good humor and grace - even if that grace is occasionally accompanied by one of his dry remarks warning me to watch out for that hole in the floor that disappeared right after I tripped over it. I love this about him...this grace that he has that enables him to let things go and love people unconditionally, because I tend to be a grudge-holder and a nit-picker. I don't intend to be those things, but sometimes it doesn't really matter what my intentions are.
I did not intend to spill an entire cup of hot coffee loaded with cream and sugar into my computer keyboard this past weekend, but I most certainly did.
I intend - every single day - to be more patient with my oldest child with whom I clash the most, and I am...and also I'm not.
I did not intend to accidentally smack myself in the face just now when a determined little bug took a dive bomb at the light from my computer screen and instead ended up in my glasses, and yet I did (note to self: don't use the computer in the dark anymore).
I intended to avoid eating chocolate today, but the siren song of the Hershey's Kisses in my cupboard proved stronger than my willpower.
I did not intend to hurt my daughter's feelings by rushing her through a story she waited all day to tell me, but I did, and she cried, and I felt like the world's biggest failure as a mother.
I intended to get on my spin bike tonight and work out until I couldn't walk, and this is where it gets tricky. I did work out, for as long as I meant to, but I can still walk...so did I fail? I just don't know.
Fortunately for me, I am incredibly blessed with neighbors who are so generous and giving that I am currently typing this blog using their keyboard that they graciously lent to us (no coffee here, guys...I promise!). Fortunately for me, I have amazingly resilient children who are willing to forgive the failings of their mother, and let her have another chance to hear that story or to bite her tongue when she feels compelled to criticize. Fortunately for me, I did not break my glasses (or wake up the house with my shrieking) in what was most likely a very silly and uncoordinated attempt to rid my glasses of that darn bug, and the three Hershey's Kisses I ate probably won't do too much damage to the buttons on my pants, and my spin bike is still over there waiting for the day I fall off of it unable to walk. I don't even really know what my intentions are by writing all of this, but it's the word that was on my mind, and so here you have it. My intentions now are to fall into bed, turn off my brain, and sleep until I am woken up either by a gaggle of small children, or until the Hershey's Kisses start singing to me from the kitchen again.
Posted by Carri at 1:59 AM