Sunday, January 31, 2010
Word of the day: random
Random: (adj) h - see: this post.
My dog is staring at me.
He wants to go outside.
I don't really want to let him outside.
The thing is, he'll want to be out there for about 35 seconds until he realizes there are approximately 5 inches of snow on the ground, covered by a good quarter or half inch of ice. Once this sinks in, he'll cry and stare at me through the door; this will be an endless, guilt-inspiring stare that tells me he wants to come back inside to the warmth in which I am basking. I will not want to let him come back inside, because along with him, he will bring a good portion of that snow and ice, which he will promptly shake off by way of that spastic get-the-water-off-of-me shake thing that dogs do. Of course, this will then transfer that stuff all over my walls and floor and any small children lurking in the general vicinity. He will then park himself by the back door through which he just came back inside, and whine and stare at me because he wants to go outside. He's a sled dog with an identity crisis - he knows he belongs out in that glorious snow and ice, but he's been a posh, cozy indoor dog for so long that he has become prissified (I am certain that is not a word, but it fits the situation) and he just doesn't know what the heck to do.
Besides that, there is a ferret in his normal haunt (my bathroom).
But...we don't have a ferret.
My husband was out in the garage this evening searching for various tools with which to perform magical voodoo on our new dryer which is not so much new as it is really old, but in better working shape than our newer but crappier dryer. While looking for these magical tools, he noticed that there was a little white ferret following him everywhere he went. My hubby came in to tell me, hey, there's a ferret in the garage, and I had to have him repeat this a couple of times. I understood the words he was saying, but honestly, how often do you randomly find a ferret in your garage? In the best interests of the skinny little thing, we put it in a big plastic container and are letting it crash in our bathroom for the night until my hubby can deposit it safely at Animal Control in the morning. He's calling it Ferret Bueller.
It's awfully cute.
But...it just pooped on my bath mat.
We're not keeping it.
So now my dog not only wants to be inside AND outside at the same time, he also wants to know what the heck we're keeping in the bathroom. The poor dog just doesn't know what's going on.
I told you this would be random.